


Dangerous Love- Valguine

by Magical_Mages



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Adult Val, Don't Judge Me, F/M, I don't know, Implied Sexual Content, Kidnapping, yes I know it's a weird pairing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25748341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magical_Mages/pseuds/Magical_Mages
Summary: Val gets kidnapped and receives some unlikely aid from an unlikely ally.
Relationships: Billy-Ray Sanguine/ Valkyrie Cain, Valkyrie Cain/ Billy-Ray Sanguine
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I KNOW Valguine is a weird pairing but I can't help but like it for some reason. I think it's cuz I project onto Val and find Sanguine attractive. Anyway, warnings for implied rape/ torture, kidnapping, mild language.

Valkyrie was tired, and she was sore, and hungry and she really didn't have the time to be kidnapped at that moment. Unfortunately, kidnapped was exactly her current situation. Because life just hated her that much.

She was tied to a chair in a dimly lit room. The walls were unremarkable and splashed with dried blood. The floor was filthy and the chair was uncomfortable. She wasn't particularly impressed. In all honesty, she wasn't really scared. The people who'd kidnapped her proved to be a little bit of a problem for her alone but they wouldn't stand a chance against a squad of Cleavers, let alone the Dead Men. She just wanted the whole thing over with so she could go have a shower and sleep in her own bed.

The door in front of her swung open and in waltzed her captor- an unremarkable man in a dirty suit who smelt like he'd never even heard of showers. He showed her a sleazy grin.

"Miss Cain," he began, "can I please begin by saying what an _honour_ it is to finally meet you. It isn't every day we have celebrities in here. Why, I'm nearly beside myself with excitement."

"Oh the honour's all mine," Valkyrie grinned back. "I'll tell you what, you untie me and I'll get you a free autograph."

The man chuckled. "You _are_ funny, Miss Cain, but I'm afraid you're going to have to do better than that."

Valkyrie pouted. "Aw, come on, dude."

"Oh, how _rude_ of me!" The man feigned shock. "I haven't introduced myself, my name is Lord Harrow but you-"

"Is it really though?"

Harrow's smile faltered. "I'm sorry?"

"Is that really your name? Like, did you really take the name Lord? Or is that just a title? I know Vengeous took the name Baron but like, he made it work y'know? Like, you look at him and you go 'Yeah, he could be a baron.' And you don't even question it but you, no offense, don't look very lordly. So are you a real lord? 'Cause if you are, that's pretty cool. If not, that's just a little sad. Sounds like you're compensating for something. Are you compensating for something? Do you suffer from crippling self doubt? An inferiority complex?"

"Enough!" Harrows face was flushed with anger, sweat beaded on his podgy forehead. "No more talking, you are a _prisoner_! I will not stoop so low as to-"

"Ah, you, my friend, are suffering from a terrible case of fragile masculinity," said Valkyrie solemnly. "I'm afraid the only cure is a good old splash of common sense."

A strangled squawk escaped Harrow. As he struggled for words to say, a familiar laugh barked from the darkened hall behind him. He spun but on catching sight of the newcomer, his confidence sprung right back. He turned back to Valkyrie, grinning. "It appears, Miss Cain, that my _colleague_ is rather keen to speak to you. He's an old friend of yours."

Billy-Ray Sanguine sauntered into view and for the first time since she'd woken up, worry squirmed in the recesses of Valkyrie's mind. "Well, well, well, lil' darlin'," the Texan grinned at her. "We meet again."

"Sanguine," Valkyrie said evenly. "You know, I'd really hoped you'd gone off and died somewhere. But it seems hope isn't doing me much good at the moment."

Sanguine laughed. "Aw come on, darlin', you love me really."

"I wouldn't put my money on it."

Harrow looked between the two of them, confusion etched into his sweaty face. Whatever he'd been expecting to happen, it hadn't. "Yes, well," he cleared his throat. "I'm sure you're wondering why you're here. Now, I don't wish to alarm you, but-"

"Is there a KFC nearby?" Valkyrie interrupted again. "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, Jerry- Oh yeah, I should probably mention I'm calling you Jerry now. You just don't strike me as a Lord. Or a Harrow. You strike me as the pervy uncle at a four year old's birthday party.

"Anway, where was I? Oh yeah, KFC. It's just, I've been in situations like this before and it always seems to work out in the end. The fact is, I don't think I'll be staying here very long, people will have realised I'm missing by now and, knowing Skulduggery, they'll leave no stone left unturned. And I'm hungry, I'm alway hungry after being kidnapped but I'm especially hungry now and I crave KFC. I give you four hours to two days and I'll be out of here and munching on some chicken. So, you may as well make this easy on yourself and tell me where the goddamn KFC is."

Jerry stood there and blinked. It was taking all of Sanguine's self control not to laugh. "Right," Jerry muttered. "You are here to answer for your crimes against the Holy Order of the Faceless Ones."

Valkyrie winced. "Ah, that."

"You have murdered out gods, angerred our community and yet you refuse to repent."

"Well, your gods would've killed me if I hadn't been quicker. It makes you wonder though, doesn't it? If a thirteen year old can kill your gods, are they really worth your praise?"

Jerry frowned. "You're not thirteen."

"Nope, but I was when I killed your gods."

"ENOUGH!" He shrieked. "YOU WILL BE HELD HERE TO ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES. YOU MAY BE USED A BLACKMAIL, BAIT OR ANYTHING, I DON'T CARE. BUT YOU WILL SUFFER!"

"Got out on the wrong side of bed today didn't ya, Jerry."

"Hey, mate," Sanguine grabbed a hold of Jerry's chubby arm before he embarrassed himself any further. "Maybe just get to the torture stuff now."

"OK," Jerry mumbled. "But Cain I have to warn you- this won't be what you're expecting."

"If it's not piranhas, I'm suing."

Two men entered the room, untied Valkyrie and hauled her to her feet. "The gentleman these lovely fellas work for is paying an awful lot of money for your, ah, _services_. Do be nice to him won't you?"

Sanguine frowned, he'd been expecting electric chairs and pliers not... this. Valkyrie started to struggle, panic finally filling her eyes. "No," she hissed. "You can't!"

"Oh, Miss Cain. I actually can." The men dragged her screaming from the room. Sanguine turned to Jerry. "Where the Hell they takin' her?"

Jerry chuckled. "Their boss is a very wealthy man but a very lonely man too. When he heard we had someone of Miss Cain's _beauty_ and _influence_ in out possession, he simply couldn't help himself. He's requested she _'keep his bed warm'_ as it were."

Sanguine actually felt a little sick. "And, uh, just how many others are interested in that same service?" Jerry contorted his annoying little weasel face into a frown. "Mr Sanguine, you're here to make sure she doesn't escape, I don't see why- oh," he was smiling now. There was nothing Sanguine wanted more at that moment to punch him. "I see. Don't you worry, I understand. She certainly is a desirable woman. I'll see what I can arrange for you."

Sanguine went to protest but Jerry was already saunterring out. "Ah Hell," He muttered and he followed him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part twooo. Mostly dialogue, some action-y stuff next chapter :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify, Valkyrie is an adult in this. This is set in some happy place where Ravel isn't a stinky traitor and everyone is still alive. Same warnings apply as last chapter.

Sanguine was mad. Mad at that stupid, stinking man but also mad at himself. He had a job to do goddamnit. Why was he allowing himself to get distracted? And by Cain of all people. For the first time, he was planning to break a contract for non-selfish reasons. 

He sighed to himself and ran a hand over his jaw. The way his brain worked amused him despite himself. He was fine with people torturing her, attacking her, beating the crap out of her but for whatever reason he drew the line at sexually exploiting her. Well, he may be a complete psycho but at least he was still a gentleman. 

The door to the room was wrenched open and Cain stumbled in. The man who had shoved her didn't even look at Sanguine as he spoke. "You have her for an hour," and then he left. 

Cain was visibly shaking, her clothes were torn and disheveled but apart from a few bruises here and there, she seemed unharmed. Though her eyes were wild and scared, she did her best to conjure her signature glare. The effort was almost cute. 

"What do you want?" She hissed. 

Sanguine tilted his head, looking at her with his missing eyes. "I was jus' goin' to check in on ya is all," his Southern drawl had dulled a little since the last time the met. "They treatin' you right?" 

She continued to glare.

He chuckled. "Sorry, silly question. Of course they ain't but seriously, y'alright?"

"Just peachy."

"Alright, calm your horses. I was jus' askin'." 

Valkyrie sighed and hesitantly sat down on the edge of the bed. The room was lavishly decorated, with a plump king-size bed in the middle. Sanguine sat on an armchair that closer resembled a throne. "What do you really want, Sanguine?"

Now, it was his turn to sigh. "Things have got complicated," he chose his words carefully. "See, I'm bein' paid to make sure you don't try escape or nothin' and to keep out your friends should they come pay a visit but there have been certain... Complications."

Valkyrie blinked. "Whu?"

"Articulate as ever," Sanguine muttered. He cleared his throat. "When I lost Tanith, I lost a part of me. Tanith was really like no woman I'd ever met and I know without that shadowy little Remnant possessing her there ain't no way in Hell she's gonna take me back. When I looked at her I saw... Something special. I saw her beauty and her wits and her tough ol' attitude but there was something else too. She practically shone. An' when she said she'd marry me- well, I honestly never thought it was possible for someone like me to be so happy.

"But then y'all came along and ruined all that," his tone turned bitter. "'Cause you couldn't just leave us be. No, you just had to get that damn Remnant outta her. And now she don't even remember the time we had together. She don't even remember that I really loved her. 

"Now, and here's where it gets real weird, up until very recently, I would look at you and want nothin' more than to slice open that pretty little neck."

"Charming," Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. 

"But now," he was talking real slow now. "I... don't want to kill you." 

Valkyrie blinked and waited for more. When nothing came, she actually laughed. "That's it? Seriously? You know, I'm not sure if you're aware but not wanting to kill someone is like, the barest of the bare minimum. What, you want an award? Hey, congrats! You didn't kill you someone, have a cookie! You ain't special, mate." 

Sanguine groaned, trust Cain to completely miss the point. "Damnit, that's not what I-" 

He was cut off by the sound of approaching footsteps. In a eyeblink, he'd pushed her down on the bed and pressed his mouth to hers. 

The door opened. "Mr Sanguine, I- oh," a nervous looking man stood and fidgeted in the door frame. 

Sanguine sat up. "Can't you see we're busy? What the Hell you want?" 

"I- well, it's no bother really, Lord Harrow wants to see you."

"Tell him he can wait," Sanguine growled, leaning down to kiss her again. 

"I- yes, sir," the man mumbled and the door shut behind him. 

The moment they were alone again, Sanguine sat up. Valkyrie blinked up at him a couple of times, then she slapped him. Hard.

"What the Hell?" He hissed.

"What on Earth was that?" She hissed back. 

"I was protectin' you, dumbass. What do ya think he woulda done if he walked on in here and we was just talkin'? You should be thankin' me!" 

"Thanking you?" She hissed. But even as the words left her mouth, she knew he was right. And he knew she knew he was right. "Shut up," she muttered to his smug grin. 

He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I didn't say nothin'," he said.

"Shut. Up."

Sanguine's grin widened and he sat back down in his chair. "Anway, where was I? Oh yeah, not wantin' to kill you. You see, you- ah, crap. Look, I really don't know how I'm supposed to say this," he pursed his lips for a moment. There were a million things Valkyrie could have said to fill that gap but she kept quiet. 

"Look, the more I look at you the more I see you like I saw Tanith. That's it, I- I like you. I guess that's what I'm trying to say. I like you, or don't hate you anyway, and I want to help you get outta here."

Valkyrie blinked and her mouth hung open slightly. "You what, mate?"

"Damnit," he muttered. He made his way over to her again and gently locked his lips with hers. She just sat there completely lost. 

"That answer your goddamn question?" He murmured, uncharacteristically embarrassed. 

"Huh," Valkyrie had no clue what had just happened.

Sanguine sighed. "We can talk about this later, damnit. Let's just get out of here."

Valkyrie frowned. "What, we're just leaving?"

"Well, yeah. Unless you'd rather stay?"

"God, no," she leapt up and accepted his outstretched hand. 

He grinned down at her. "Then away we go."

Sirens blared as the ground cracked beneath them but there was nothing anyone could do to stop them sinking into the dirt and speeding away in the dark.


End file.
